So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
