Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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