no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
