I'm really into asian looking animals
it wasn't lemon gatorade
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
