Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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