All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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