Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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