yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
