I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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