Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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