so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The air was thick with penises
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
