Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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