9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
