I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
