yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
