i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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