I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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