When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
