just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
