I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
