She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
