At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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