you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're like the curious george of whores
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
