where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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