this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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