Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
