I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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