dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
