If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
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