just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
