Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
