I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
