im drinking this country out of the recession.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am available for nakedness
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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