is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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