i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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