he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just gift wrapped bread.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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