So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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