also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
