I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Randomize