If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize