Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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