i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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