clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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