You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
