Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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