she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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