I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
