so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
