So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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