Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
