ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
