Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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