she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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