summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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