There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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