I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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