I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
