My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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