I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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