so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
