I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
