Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
