found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
