I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
