just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
