My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I believe in your delicious
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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