That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize