Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My life is pants optional.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
