i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
