Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
