i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
