I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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